Friday, April 30, 2010

Life keeps moving on....

Shame on me that it has been more than A YEAR since I posted to my blog. I find it tough when I'm in the middle of things to stop and journal (which is basically what a blog is). But it is also so cathartic to do so. This past year has had many challenges. I embraced the journey God had me on with Refugee Connect, but ended up encountering a lot of closed doors and many internal questions about my own wiring. I have a do it all kind of attitude, but am not programmed to do it all (none of us are). Yet, the ministry I undertook left me needing to do it all. The funding did not come. Volunteer support did not come. Encouragement came, which is why I continued on the path for a year. But those encouraging did not, or were not in a position to, jump in and take part. So, after a year, I recognized I was still doing it mostly alone and didn't believe that is how God wires us. I crave to be a part of a team. I do not want to spend most of my days working alone with my computer.

This led me to return to my constant fall back... freelance marketing. I actually find that I'm naturally good at it and I enjoy the days that I get to interact with my clients. But, many days, it is just me and my computer. So, I'm still working that one out with God. And I know He'll show me the way if I'm willing to keep my eyes, ears, and heart open.

Our most recent learning is that God is leading us to become adoptive parents! John and I start the process on Monday with our first class that is part of 30 hours of training to be licensed to adopt. We are planning to adopt a pre-teen as there are so many in our area who need a "forever family." God has touched our heart with the story of one particular boy. But I won't go into that yet as I don't want to get ahead of Him.

I admit, at times the uncertainty of following Christ is a bit scary. We can't always see the next steps and sometimes the direction just doesn't make sense. Or, what I find to be my bad habit, is that I apply my own understanding to something and interpret what God must be doing. Then when it all ends up looking different I feel so confused. What's that scripture? Ah yes, "lean not on your own understanding"! The full verse is Prov 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

So, for now (and hopefully for always), I'm looking to God to direct my path. I am wondering what's next but open to the lessons. After all, I am a work in progress. :0)