Thursday, January 29, 2009

Time to let go and jump!

I haven't blogged in a while for many reasons. The primary one is that God has been actively moving in me to come to terms with the realization that it is time to transition out of my role at Gateway. I could not share this publicly via a blog until I had time to work through it with Gateway leadership and receive my pastor's blessing. Now that that has taken place I want to share with you so much.

My last day on Gateway staff will be March 15th. After 2.5 years serving with Gateway missions/Mobilization, I will let go and move into a new phase in my life. This year on staff in Mobilization has probably impacted me more than most other years in my life. I will never forget the journey and will greatly miss the team and staff that I love working with. But I am so excited for this next chapter... God is leading me to really focus on a ministry dedicated to assisting, supporting, encouraging and sharing God's love and purposes with refugees.

After a very important meeting last week that helped me to take this step, I had the opportunity to meditate on a verse and journal. I was able to really sit in the knowledge that God is actively at work. Here's what He revealed:

Ephesians 3:20-21 MSG: God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

My journal entry....
More than I could imagine:
I never knew I would have a heart for refugees. Until a year and a half ago, I did not even know what a refugee was. And, truly, I didn’t know you could unconditionally love someone you didn’t even know or feel joy just by being around them and hearing them speak to others in their language. I did not know I could have a passion for a people group that is truly intoxicating.

I didn’t know a year ago that I could shepherd people. I didn’t know that I’d like being on stage or teaching. I didn’t know that I could share my passion in a way that motivates others. If I had not trusted and taken the job at Gateway, even though it didn’t quite seem to align with this long-term vision of ministry work I sensed God calling me to, I would not have learned these things. The path is not always clear, but in our taking the next step – one step at a time – God reveals as much as we need to know.

That God can provide everything that is needed – that is truly something to see play out. I didn’t know how reliant I am on Him, but I am soon to find out as I step outside the bounds of a typical job with a set income. For so long, I did not know the adventure of following God that I now can attest to. Trusting the whisper, the sign, the Word, the input shared by a trusted friend. Seeking discernment and trusting that quiet voice. Knowing that you know what you know – even when it seems completely illogical. “…His Spirit deeply and gently within us.”

A friend who is developing a non-profit to work with refugees recently shared that organization’s 1-, 3-, and 5-year plans. I was shocked; not because they were so ambitious. In fact, she said, “maybe this sounds unrealistic” as she told me the 5-year plan, but I did not think so. No, I’m coming to realize that truly anything is possible. If God puts it on your heart, He’ll lead the way. But what shocked me, as I showed her a piece of paper that contained the 1-, 3-, and 5-year plan God had shared with me a few months ago, was that their plan for working with refugees was almost identical to that one that God had put on my heart. She and I had never talked about the majority of these goals prior to that evening. Only God could work out a convergence like that! How God weaves things together – is constantly weaving things together – is so utterly amazing to me. It is beautiful. It is a fulfillment of His promises.

Reading His promise in Ephesians 3:20-21, I have to wonder what more He will reveal. His plans are so beyond my ability to imagine; so it is likely I will truly be surprised – as I have been virtually every day since I started following Christ. So suddenly, my wildest dream doesn’t seem so irrational or inconceivable. Suddenly, it is not only possible but only part of the possibilities. God promises to do so much more than we can even imagine. What will He do next?

2 comments:

mark foshager said...

you are in such a good place!

RCummins said...

I'm so blessed to be walking alongside you in your journey!! Your words here are evidence of your intimate relationship with Christ, the fruits of the Spirit that are thriving, and you huge, gigantic ol' heart!! Love you!